I've learned some things about my self lately.
I am completely terrified of success.
No really, I am.
I know what I want, I know what I need to do to get there.
But I don't do it.
I sit there and dream about it and see it happening, but I am not taking those steps needed.
Then I see people and peers and other's around me take off with their dreams bursting at the seams in fantastic ways as they come into reality.
And I spiral out of my happy place and mope.
I have really good ideas too!
Here is the quote I read that got me all worked up on this.
" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that frightens us; We ask our selves, who am I to be? Brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?
Actually who are you not to be?
You are a child of god, your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you, we are all meant to shine as children do.
We were born to make manifest the glory of god that is within us, its not just in some of us its in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine we unconsciously give other people permission to the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others"
~Marianne Williamson
Perfectly put for me to realize my issue.
But what the H-E-double hockey sticks do I need to do to make that crossing, what thing has taken away my bridge to reach that personally???
Its soul searching time.
Anybody got some good thoughts on repairing that bridge? I need to cross it, its really driving me crazy.
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2 comments:
One step at a time.
Not just a silly platitude anymore.
I learned that if you have to do something scary, like reach a big goal, the best thing you can do to control fear is to break the task down into it's parts, and do just one part at a time, and focus on mindfulness--really being there while you do that task, not thinking about the future or the past.
I'm no Buddhist, but they really seem to have that part figured out. Mindfulness is the key to managing all sorts of emotions. Especially fear, because it's all based in the future, and the future isn't here yet.
If you want to learn anymore go look up this great author; Thich Nhat Hahn.
And enjoy!
"The difference between apathy and heroism is ACTION."-me
Astronauts weren't just called up one day by NASA to say.."Neil Armstrong? We need your help! You're still an Eagle scout right? Mind if we shove you into a craped space with lots of buttons on top of explosives so you can get shot into space where later you gently maneuver a spindly craft to the surface of another planet so you can take a stroll and do tons of experiments?"
I like the platitude that you just keep ACTING like the person you want to be until you look back and realize that you ARE the person you want to be.
Thats how I got to be me :)
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